So recently, I've been making stuff that doesn't exactly "feel" complete to me personally to sort of break away from my perfectionist tendencies. That has included some recent artworks, and this song just today :
But the thing is, i wanted to ask if anyone even THOUGHT that the stuff i just made is missing as much as i think it does in terms of being "fleshed out"?
For example, does it feel like either of these "needed WAY more time" or are they just enough where they're at?
I'm asking because - and aside from my initial reason - for a while now, I've been trying to get rid of certain behaviors and patterns I've noticed in myself that make the "artistic process" (and anything that requires effort really...), a lot more overwhelming. One thing that always came to mind was that "i might be raising the bar too high up to the point where i can't reach it and no one would care even if i did". That, and i figured I'd say something for once because if any of you think I'm dead due to how little I say i wouldn't even be able to say you're wrong to think that.
Now that aside, i hope you're all doing well and thanks for taking the time to read this. Do share your thoughts if you have any.
Guidodinho
Just listened to your wailing walls.
I wouldn't call it incomplete, quite the opposite in fact.
I believe you've put in too much effort even!
I'd say you could basicly cut the song in half, like 50% out of the rectangle and 50% out of the oval (if you look at the waveform of the track). And as douchebaggy as this will sound: nothing of value will be lost.
I know its mostly an ambient piece, so not a very 'out there' melody that's going places. Heck, even the mood of the track, is specifically about like, a location, going nowhere getting overgrown in weeds n shit.
Let's take the rectangle. Its the whole first half, lasting 2 whole minutes. First 20 seconds its slowly starting up well.
I'll just see this as walking up to the old house or whatever, and looking at how its gone overgrown. Then the drums work their way in. Processing in your head, looking at the house, so you can imagine the memories of how it used to look and how it used to be. Like a quick flashback through memory lane (a bit like quickly seeing you life flash before your eyes with a near death experience).
So those drums are kinda like a raised heartbeat when all the feeling comming back rush through ya.
It's like the most intense and focussed bit of the track, but it then takes up 1:30 (3/4) of the rectangle.
And then the oval after that, is how the feelings are sinking in, and proccessing all the feeling and whatnot, and then the song comes to an end, walking away from the house again. And The End of the Story.
If I'd compare the whole story to a comicbook. I'd say you have the main character standing in front of the house. Then you get one full, well illustrated page, of the character just looking, a really good, detailed close up shot, can really get all the details of expression in that shot, Instead of just a tiny panel. But then, the next few pages, are also like that. It breaks the flow a little bit, going on a bit too long.
Long Story short: I personaly think you stretched, and thinned out the track a bit too much. If it was used just like this in a movie, or slow scene in a show, it would a different story, depending on the pacing and tempo of the scene.
But just stand-alone listening, I think it might overstay its welcome a tadbit. Like you have a tone set, it sunk in, the story has been introduced, so you wanna hear what happens next after putting one foot forward. But then it kinda feels like you have to wait 45 seconds, until you can put your second foot forward, if you know what I mean.
Those were my thoughts on the matter. I may say stuff about the other two tracks too. But I think this current wall of text, is already giving China's cute stoney old wall a good run for it's money.
MoeAnguish
Honestly, i don't think what you said sounds "douchebaggy" because i kind of agree. I feel like maybe i should have extended this track but not THAT much.
Thanks for your input!